 Thinking about busting nuts at home this holiday season? Stay informed and know the risks. Hazelnuts are the safest option - a low risk, high reward nut. Those bad boys practically crack themselves and are consistently delicious. But if you're a seasoned nutter who's looking for a fight, you can't go wrong with a Brazil nut. Hard as hell to open with a HIGH probability that most of the nut will get stuck inside a completely unbreakable sliver of shell and you will end up trying to scrape the nut out with your front teeth like a cockatiel. Also about 1/5 of the time they taste like plywood. The other nuts are trash nuts; I don't get out of bed for anything less than an almond.  And P.S. - Fuck Lindsey Grahm, Martha McSally, John Cornyn, Thom Tillis, David Perdue, Kelly Loeffler, Joni Ernst, Cory Gardner, Susan Collins, Steve Daines, and Dan Sullivan. Fuck Ben Shapiro and PragerU, and fuck Mitch McConnell's old melted ass a second time. Fucking evil mandrake looking ass. And fuck Mitt Romney. Fuck every single member of the GOP. And fuck Jo Jorgenson. Why not? Let's get crazy. VOTE. |
